Drywall Is Heavy

Okay, so in History class we're doing an Ancient Greece unit, right? Well, we were going over some notes (which are ALWAYS fun with Ms. Templeton, as you're about to find out) and we stopped at what a hoplite was last time.*

So today we started off with the word phalanx. A phalanx was a battle formation in which 64 people (we used 6, but whatever) link their arms in this sort of funky circle-chain thing, and they all hold shields and swords. You hold the shield in your right arm, having the arm looped through two seperate ropes on the back of the shield, and when you hold it correctly, the top of the shield covers your chest while the opposite end is over the hip area of the person to the right of you. In your left hand goes your sword/spear/sharp-stick-you-poke-the-enemies'-eyes-out-with. The flaw in this part is that the person on the farthest left side is screwd because they aren't fully protected. Oh, and only the front-most row has the shields, since everyone behind them basically has human shields. The front row's job is to run as fast as possible, and everyone behind them is to push the front row people against the enemy.

Yeah, it was a horrible battle formation, but it worked for the ancient Greeks. Somehow.

Anyway, like I've said before, we only 6 people to do it, and Templeton first asked Midori to get this orange model shield she had that was made out of drywall and show it to everyone. So Midori's standing there holding it up, and then Templeton says, "Okay, Athens**, everyone get up and stand with Midori."

So we all get up, and Ben, Zach, and I are standing in the front row with Steff, Midori, and Emily behind us. I've been given the shield and everyone else was given some sort of plastic baseball bat. Oh, and our arms are looped together, so every time Zach moves his hand to talk to someone next to him, my left hand is flying about uselessly whilst my right forearm is getting the circulation cut off because of the rope digging into my arm. The shield wasn't even that heavy, it's just that I stood there for about 15 minutes basically holding a huge chunk of drywall with my forearm.

Eventually, Templeton tells Sparta to get up and she tells us to run at each other. And we lost both times we went at each other because my group consists of a bunch of smart, semi-in-shape people versus these super-jock freaks. Though we pushed back pretty well. So, in the end, I don't think all of us wouldn't have died (well, maybe not Midori since she was behind my six foot-something frame and she's, like, five foot two).

Oh, and later, we found some irony. The real Spartans were in-your-face, super athletic people, and the group of Sparta in our class is the exact same way. It was horrible.

*hoplite- Greek foot-soldier
**For the unit, Templeton split us into five groups; Macedonia, Athens, Thebes, Troy, and Sparta. I, somewhat ironically, am in Athens, the smarter people of ancient Greece.